fears

Today’s assignment on Writing 101 at the Daily Post involved fears-what are you afraid of? (There was also a small tidbit about changing your voice/style of writing but I’m not feeling mentally aware enough tonight to tackle that part)

Let me preface this all by saying that I am a certified worrywart. I am that person who drives you nuts overthinking everything. I live in a perpetual state of wondering whether I locked the front door or not. It’s a continuous battle in my life, worrying about everything, picking it apart with my brain and turning it over and over, looking for the problem. That is the problem, in and of itself. Example: Being a night owl means I stay up until all hours of the night, and when I first became a manager at my job, I would sit on my couch and worry that I’d forgotten something until I would actually get in my car and drive past the store at 2am. It helps that there’s a food place next door, making my trip out worth it, but you get the picture.

So I guess it wouldn’t be inaccurate to say that I’m afraid of…everything. But to cover the surface, I am also afraid of: heights, the dark, snakes, and clowns. Pretty standard.

I’d say my biggest fear, though, is the unknown. I’m really afraid of the future and the bad things that can, and are going to, happen. I’m not saying I have a perpetual knowledge of my future failure…I’m saying that one day, this life that I have won’t exist anymore. These people-all of them, friends and family-will one day be gone, by one way or another. I won’t be in this job. I won’t be living in this home. I won’t have all these things. And that terrifies me. I know that there are many happy things waiting for me in the future, too. There are a lifetime of wonderful things, people, and places that I just haven’t gotten to yet. So that helps, a little. But sometimes my brain just can’t shake it.

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2 thoughts on “fears

  1. Real Momma Ramblings says:

    I know how you feel. I am the same way. I obsess over every little thing I do, someone else did, what I said, what someone else said. It takes up a lot of time and uses a lot of energy. It can be exhausting.

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