It’s hard to believe that a week ago it was Christmas, and it’s even harder to believe that another year has flown by. Referencing my post about a month ago, about how quickly time/Christmas flies by now vs. as a child, this year really did fly by. I hope everyone here on WordPress and in my real life had a great Christmas/whatever holiday you choose to celebrate surrounded by good family, friends, food and love. I did, for the most part. Christmas eve was spent at my grandpa’s, as always, and Christmas day with my aunt, uncle, cousins, mom, and grandma. They were both fairly chill days, spent exchanging gifts, eating food and playing games.
There was a moment, however, on Christmas eve that kind of ties into my year as a whole, and this blog, too. As my mother and I were leaving my grandpa’s, I went to say goodbye to a relative of mine, someone I don’t see much. I said goodbye and then they said “Well, I am disappointed in you for not being in school, but I hope you have a Merry Christmas anyways.”
It definitely took me back a pace, to the point of me saying, “Excuse me?” They responded, “You know, I’m just disappointed in you. You should be in school.” I responded with, “Well, I graduated…” They answered, “But aren’t you supposed to get your Master’s?” “Well, yes, but I’m working right now and getting your Master’s is very expensive and I’m not sure if that’s what I want to do.” “Just take a loan out!”
It was at that point that the conversation had gotten entirely too silly for my tastes, so I just said, “Merry Christmas,” gave them a hug, and drove home.
The whole situation irked and really, really bothered me. It’s very clear that even though I accomplished something major this year, a few major things this year, it really will never be enough for some people. The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me.
But now, facing a brand new year, I can’t help but think about how dumb that entire thing was. Sure, I’m not in grad school and my life isn’t exactly where I want it to be for the rest of it. But I’m 24 years old, and I’ve accomplished things in my life, big and small, and 2014 taught me something really important.
Everybody’s journey is different. My journey is different from yours, and yours is different than mine. Yours might move faster than mine. I might crawl along at a turtle’s pace and not end up anywhere near where I thought I would. But…it’s whatever. I’m not an extremely ambitious person. I don’t strive to be the most successful, the richest, the greatest, the biggest, the best. Maybe that’s a “bad” thing to some people, but when I think of the goals I want for myself for this year-and for the rest of my life-the first ones that come to mind don’t have anything to do with making money, going to school, and having a career. Before anything, before I step foot out of bed in the morning, I want to be a good person. I want to love and be loved and be surrounded by amazing people. I want to read awesome books and see wonderful movies. I want to laugh, I want to feel things, and I want to make a difference in people’s lives. The rest of it is gravy. Yeah, I’d love a big house and a bunch of money and a career, and I want to figure out exactly what I want in that area of my life, too. But those other things will always be more important.
2014 was a year of accomplishments for me, too, regardless of the legitimacy that other people place on them. I got a promotion at work with a lot more responsibility, and though it’s been a bumpy little while, I have hopes that 2015 is going to be a great year there for me. I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree. I saw my beautiful, wonderful nephew come into this world.
There were hard times, too, with my family feeling more disconnected this year than I’ve felt in a while. We lost my great grandmother in March, which really threw all of us for a loop. It was one of those things where we were all just floating around, not expecting it, when wham! It hit, and she was gone, and I didn’t get to say goodbye. I’ve struggled with that for a while, and probably will for a while more. It devastated our family and affected us in more ways than I can count. An important member of my family has been having health problems of late, and she’s someone I’m extremely close with, and that’s been hard.
But through it all, I want to keep my head held high. There is so much to be thankful for in this life and I want to focus on that. That’s my big goal in 2015. Amid my goals of saving money, being healthier and reading more, I want to focus on the good. There’s so much of it there…I just gotta clean my glasses once in a while to see it.