I should be working on homework and class work-I started grad school on Monday and, no shocker, I am already behind! I think part of me thought working 50 hours a week and doing full time school would be…easy…but it really isn’t. Anyways, I really should be working, but I thought I’d take a little time out to blog because my mind is buzzing with emotions. Today marks six months since Michele died and my emotions are all over the place.
I always thought grief was this weird place you stayed in for a few weeks and then passed through. Before losing my aunt, I had never lost anyone I was very close with (fortunately) and losing her hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve spoken about her a lot on this blog. She was sick with MS for a very long time. We watched her health deteriorate for years, and though she isn’t in any pain anymore…sometimes, that just isn’t as comforting as it maybe should be, when I’m feeling selfish.
This year is a difficult year of firsts. First birthdays, first Thanksgiving, first Christmas, first anniversary, all without her. It’s difficult. I really do miss her every day, and think about her every single day. I still reach to text her when something happens; I still want to tell her about things and get some of her valuable thoughts on whatever it is. I wish I could tell her that Katie and I are in grad school; I know she would be so proud of us. I know that she is, I just wish I could see her and hug her and hear her tell her she loves me again.