Saturday night I went to the mall because Bath and Body Works had their 3-wick candles on sale for $8.50. Even though God knows I need another candle like I need a hole in the head, I wanted to check it out. Turns out that so did everyone else in the tri-county area, and the line was wrapped through the entire store and spilling out into the rest of the mall. I left candle-less.

As I turned to leave, I almost ran right into a Hickory Farms stand in the middle of the mall(yeah, the people that sell the logs of meat). My eyes glanced down and saw a shelf of these bags of Mini Melt-Away Mints. If you’ve never seen them, they’re these tiny mints that look like chocolate chips that are all different colors and have nonpareils on them.

Michele loved these mints. We bought her a bag every Christmas and she never wanted to share them with anybody. They were one of her favorite things and she waited all year for them.

I don’t particularly care for these things-I hate almost everything mint flavored. And yet, I somehow found myself handing over $7 to a lady in a mall kiosk and taking them home with me. For some reason, I couldn’t bare the thought of not buying these, even though we hadn’t last year. Even though this isn’t my first Christmas without her. It hurt too much to leave these behind.

The holidays are always hard. I’ve been missing her a lot right now, and wishing I could tell her so many things. My recent vacation to New York, stuff about school and work. I miss her so much sometimes that it physically hurts, like my heart is still breaking and I can’t bare it. I expect that, at times, it’ll always be that way.

So I don’t feel bad about paying $7 for these candies I won’t eat. For the briefest of moments, it felt like everything was normal again.

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