holidays

I am struck, again, at how fast time passes, especially since when you’re in the moment it can sometimes feel like it’s at a stand still. I can’t believe that Christmas is in just a few days, and that 2017 is just a little over a week away. Though I can’t say I’m not welcoming the calendar flip heartily this year, I remain wary.

My mom and I aren’t much for the Christmas spirit this year, and for me it’s a combination of things. I’m a little more blue than normal, and not in that fun self-deprecating way that I always am. My post from the beginning of November still holds true-things are just kind of hard right now, and that’s okay. It’s okay to not be okay. That’s what the self-care portion of my brain keeps saying, anyways.

I finished up my fall 2016 semester of grad school, and I’m shocked at how well things turned out. My semesters are 8 weeks long, so one traditional semester equals two for me. My first half went well, and I got two As. I really struggled the last 8 weeks with my one class, though, but I still ended up with a B. I’m looking forward to January and completing my two final core classes for the program, and then starting my last, 15-week class in the spring/summer semester for graduation in the fall (if all goes according to plan). Every time I get down about it I try to remember to tell myself that I’m doing a pretty great job with the immense stress I’m under at work and adding full time school to it as well. You go, girl.

My grandpa had the tumor on his bladder removed during two surgeries in November. The biopsy showed that the tumor was cancerous, and hearing that news was like a punch to the stomach. However, on the bright side, the doctor is very optimistic that he’ll be just fine in time. He started his first treatment on Wednesday. He’s getting injections directly into the bladder of a tuberculosis vaccine. I’ve never heard of it before, but I researched it a bit and the results have been good. He also had no reactions to it and is tolerating it really well thus far, so I am grateful for that. This experience has made me take pause and be thankful for the blessings I’ve got. This is a really sad and scary time for us, and it broke my heart to hear him say “I didn’t plan on retiring, then getting cancer”, but he’s a strong one, and we all keep praying.

I’m ready for the holidays to be over so I can focus on 2017, setting some goals, and working hard. I’m choosing to believe things are going to turn around. *100 emoji* *thumbs up*

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